Not bad
by The Fiercesomest Dragon Ever
Summary: A not-hungry Weiss is dragged into taste-testing for a pancake night sans pancakes. Ruby is the stand-in chef, which does not bode well. Absolutely pointless oneshot. Mostly focusing on Weiss with a little RubyxWeiss friendship to guilt her into the situation.


Weiss had a thing about eating. Not that she was opposed to it, or that she had some kind of disorder or anything. No, come mealtimes she would dutifully put away whatever sort of meal was being served at the cafeteria and even pick at whatever dessert the others got for her without too much complaint. She really didn't enjoy it, however, and would have gladly traded the extended mealtimes and snack breaks her team favored-and all but forced her to partake in- for a more efficient means of supplying her body's nutritional requirements.

So when she heard via her dejected partner that Ren of team JNPR was sick, and would thus be unable to facilitate this week's pancake night, Weiss was hardly heartbroken. On the contrary, she relished the idea of spending a nice, quiet evening studying. Quality textbook time. Dealing with Ruby _did _tend to disrupt her usual all-work and no-play routine. Being the partner of a hyperactive fifteen year old could be simply exhausting.

All of this to say Weiss was ready for a break. So imagine her dismay when, after settling down at her desk to hit the books, the door slammed open.

"_There_ you are!" Yang exclaimed, promptly grabbing Weiss by the collar and hauling her across the room, "C'mon, we need you across the hall."

"Hey! Let go of me," she protested, flailing her arms at her much taller and unfortunately much stronger teammate to no avail.

Yang just grinned and sang out, "Guys! I found her!" as she burst into JNPR's room, even going so far as to hoist the petite girl off the ground to show her off.

"Yay!" Ruby and Juane cheered, throwing their arms up. Pyrrha waved with an apologetic smile. Blake didn't look up from her novel.

"Yang, put me down this _instant_!" Weiss shrieked. "_What_ on earth is going on here?"

Yang deposited the heiress in wooden chair at a table made from a clever arrangement of the room's desks while Pyrrha explained. "You see, since Ren is sick, we decided to draw straws to see who would try cooking instead. Ruby won."

The girl in question smiled over her shoulder from her station at the stovetop. That's right—JNPR had a stove in their room. Weiss spared only a moment to wonder who had packed _that_ before snapping, "So why did you drag me here?"

"Well, Ruby can't cook, so we decided to draw straws again to see who'd be the taste-tester," Yang circled her hand in the air, "You know. In case it's poison."

"Hey!" Ruby protested.

"Guess who won?" Still grinning, Yang patted Wiess on the head. Weiss restrained her urge to throttle the blonde and moved to stand up.

"Well, no thank you. I have work to do and can't just sit arou—"

"C'mon, Weiss," Juane slid smoothly up to block her escape, "We need someone with some finesse, someone with _class_, who can judge the quality of the food." He went for a suave, one-handed-lean on the table and misjudged, jamming his hip into edge of it by accident. "Ouch!"

"Besides, you wouldn't want to abandon your partner in her time of need, would you?" Yang pointed out.

"This is _not_ her time of need," Weiss scoffed, trying unsuccessfully to dodge past the taller girl. Instead she was caught around the waist and wrestled back to the table. "Blake, will you please restrain your partner?"

"This… is actually pretty entertaining," Blake's amber eyes watched over the top of her book.

"Guys, no," Ruby broke in, fiddling with a spatula, and everything stopped. She glanced up from the floor with her damnably cute silver eyes, "Weiss, if you really, _really _don't want to try it, you don't have to."

The heiress looked at her partner, then at the covered skillet on the stovetop. She shut her eyes, holding off the inevitable admission of defeat for another second. "Fine."

"You'll do it?" Yang asked, relaxing her headlock.

"I said 'fine', didn't I? Now get off!" Free again, Weiss straightened her jacket and brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "So what exactly am I supposed to be eating? I despise pancakes."

"How can you say such a thing?" Juane held a hand to his breastplate in mock horror. Weiss smirked.

Ruby, radiating cheerfulness, answered, "Actually, we didn't have any flour left after last week, and since Ren got sick, he hasn't been to the store for more, so it's mostly a bunch of different stuff all thrown together."

Weiss's smirk faltered. "Different stuff?" Yang was mouthing 'poison'.

"Yeah, peas, and some kind of squash from under Nora's bed. Wacky, huh? Ooh, and bacon. And! We found some leftover take-out in the common fridge…"

"Stop. Just… stop." Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. Why had she agreed to this? Because of Ruby's puppy eyes. She pointed to Blake. "If I miss classes tomorrow because I'm throwing up, _you_ have to take notes for me."

"What? Why me?"

"Because _you_ actually take notes," she crossed her arms and slanted her eyes at each of the sisters in turn, "Unlike certain other teammates."

"Here you go!" Oblivious to the barb, Ruby zipped to the table in a flurry of rose petals and slid a heaping plate of… food?... in front of her.

It was hideous. Chunks of putrid orange mixed with mushy, overcooked peas and onions. Random strips of bacon showed through the slop, and, yes, there were a few noodles and bits of cabbage from the take-out.

Weiss stood up and began to walk towards the door.

"Aw, you're not chickening out, are you?" Yang swept her mane of golden hair over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was supposed to be eating _food_, not—" Weiss turned to rip into Yang, but caught sight of Ruby instead. Damn, and it was her cooking she was insulting, not Yang's. With a frustrated growl, she returned and sat back down at the table. "Well? Is there a fork somewhere? Do you expect me to eat this with my hands?"

"That would be awesome."

"Yang Xiao Long, stop laughing or _I will kill you in your sleep_."

Pyrrha, who was currently having the most success stifling her chuckles—in contrast to Juane, Blake, and of course Yang—provided a fork, and Weiss hesitated over the plate. She felt Ruby's expectant gaze, and the stifled laughter of the rest of the crew made her face hot with embarrassment. This was ridiculous, but all she had to do was try it, declare it inedible without making Ruby cry or something, and leave.

She picked the least offensive chunk of orange to coax onto the tines—it fell apart when she tried to spear it—and, screwing her eyes shut, brought the fork to her mouth.

Everyone held their breath in anticipation of Weiss's reaction.

She lowered her fork, a solemn expression on her face.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Ruby grimaced, but Weiss wasn't listening. She was mourning the untimely demise of her tastebuds—or at least they must have been dead because…

"It tastes… actually… sort of not bad." Somehow the sweetness of the mystery squash, mellowed by the caramelized onions and the distinct bacon-y overtones, _worked_. Even the scrounged take-out added just a little bit of extra… something. Weiss didn't know what it was. She wasn't a chef, after all. Everyone stared at her, open-mouthed. She could feel her irritation-level rising like mercury in a thermometer. "It still looks like dog food. Or vomit."

"She liked it!" Ruby cheered, throwing her arms around Weiss, who reddened and shoved the other girl away. "I told you guys, I am a cooking _master_."

"No way, you burned water last week," Yang pushed past to try the dish, followed closely by Juane and Pyrrha. "Holy crap! It's good! A miracle, everyone! We're tasting a miracle!"

"Haha, very funny," Ruby rolled her eyes.

"_Excuse me_," Weiss broke in with icy authority, "While I don't mind sharing, I would appreciate if you all got your own eating utensils instead of snatching mine." Thoroughly red, all the way to the tips of her ears, she corrected her posture and motioned for a new fork. After all, her tussle with Yang had depleted her energy reserves a bit. A huntress couldn't afford to be at anything other than her full strength. Which… meant she could use a couple more calories before the end of the day. It had nothing to do with enjoyment of the food at all.

Not one bit.

* * *

Meanwhile, Nora sprawled sideways across the sick Ren's chest.

"… what are you doing?" he rasped, raising one eyebrow.

"Shh," Nora told him without moving. "I'm being a sloth."

* * *

**A/N: Leave a review!  
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